Saturday, June 25, 2005

Dogs and cats

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Cattle Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dr

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

The Cat's Answer:

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

Fly High!

Would you like a flying job? Have a look at Paula´s blog.
She teaches at the Air-Hostess school in A Coruña
Superflier

Monday, June 20, 2005

Do you like sailing?

BUILD A BOAT
An interactive game from The Cornwall Maritime Museum to learn some basic boating words.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Andy Capp

Friday, June 17, 2005

NO FUN FOR BRITAIN

UK folks have lost their sense of humour

May 25 2005 at 11:32AM

London - Britain is suffering a sense of humour failure, with laughter levels three times lower now than 50 years ago and nearly half of all adults unable to enjoy at least one big guffaw a day, research showed on Tuesday.

Money worries, relationship woes and even political concerns were among the reasons given for the collection of grim faces, according to the data, collected for the cruise company Ocean Village.

"Laughter is an essential ingredient of a healthy, happy life and is one of the most effective and immediate antidotes to stress and tension - it really is the best medicine," said Amanda Bate from Ocean Village.

"The findings of this study show a worrying trend towards glumness. In the 1950s we laughed for an average of 18 minutes daily but this has dropped to just six minutes per day," she said.

Morning misery is rife, with almost half of Britons - 45 percent - admitting they frequently wallowed in gloom until lunchtime.

Around 16 million adults, totalling 40 percent, said they failed to muster even one proper belly laugh in an average day.

It is not all sulking and moodiness, however, as the research found that single women aged 18 to 24 in the northern city of Manchester were the happiest people in the country.

In addition, Bristol, in western England, was named the most cheerful place for couples aged 25 to 34.

Factors such as weather, time of day and age, were all cited as being able to spark the blues.

July and August were the happiest months of the year according to three out of four people quizzed, with January the most miserable.

The study was carried out by ICM Research on behalf of Ocean Village who interviewed a random selection of 1 000 adults aged 18 or over. - Sapa-AFP

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

On St John´s Eve

Midsummer is the period of time centered upon the summer solstice. In the old Germanic calendar, it was referred to as "Litha", a term still in use today but seemingly limited to modern Pagans (called "neopagans"). Midsummer-related holidays, traditions and celebrations, most of which are considered secular, are particularly important in Finland and Sweden, but found also in other parts of Northern Europe, Great Britain and elsewhere. Solstitial celebrations still center upon June 24, but the difference between the Julian calendar year (365.2500 days) and the tropical year (365.2422 days) moved the actual astronomical solstice forward several days between 45 BCE (when Julian calendar was established) and 325 CE (First Council of Nicaea). This movement forward continued, but Gregorian calendar turned the situation to that of the First Council of Nicaea.

In the 7th century, Saint Eligius (died 659/60) warned the recently-Christianized inhabitants of Flanders against these pagan solstitial celebrations. According to the Vita by his companion Ouen, he would say:

"No Christian on the feast of Saint John or the solemnity of any other saint performs solestitia [summer solstice rites] or dancing or leaping or diabolical chants."

Indeed, as Saint Eligius demonstrates, Midsummer has been Christianized as the feast of Saint John the Baptist: unlike all other saints' days, this feast celebrated on his birthday and not on the day of his martyrdom, which is separately observed as the "Decollation of John the Baptist" on August 29. The day of Saint John the Baptist is not marked by Christian churches with the emphasis one might otherwise expect of such an important saint. Midsummer is also a Neopagan holiday.

The celebration of Midsummer's Eve was from ancient times linked to the summer solstice. People believed that at midsummer plants had miraculous and healing powers and they therefore picked them on this night. Bonfires were lit to protect against evil spirits which were believed to roam freely when the sun was turning southwards again. In later years, witches were also thought to be on their way to meetings with other evil powers.

The solstice itself has remained a special moment of the annual cycle of the year since neolithic times. The concentration of the observance is not on the day as we reckon it, but the pre-Christian beginning of the day, which falls on the previous eve. Midsummer's Eve is in Sweden and Finland considered the greatest festival of the year, comparable only with Walpurgis Night, Christmas Eve, and New Year's Eve.

A Midsummer´s Night Dream, plot summary

Midsummer is almost there and the school year ends.This time of the year inspired one of Shakespeare´s best known comedies.

Theseus, duke of Athens, is preparing for his marriage to Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons, with a four-day festival of pomp and entertainment. He commissions his Master of the Revels, Philostrate, to find suitable amusements for the occasion. Egeus, an Athenian nobleman, marches into Theseus’s court with his daughter, Hermia, and two young men, Demetrius and Lysander. Egeus wishes Hermia to marry Demetrius (who loves Hermia), but Hermia is in love with Lysander and refuses to comply. Egeus asks for the full penalty of law to fall on Hermia’s head if she flouts her father’s will. Theseus gives Hermia until his wedding to consider her options, warning her that disobeying her father’s wishes could result in her being sent to a convent or even executed. Nonetheless, Hermia and Lysander plan to escape Athens the following night and marry in the house of Lysander’s aunt, some seven leagues distant from the city. They make their intentions known to Hermia’s friend Helena, who was once engaged to Demetrius and still loves him even though he jilted her after meeting Hermia. Hoping to regain his love, Helena tells Demetrius of the elopement that Hermia and Lysander have planned. At the appointed time, Demetrius stalks into the woods after his intended bride and her lover; Helena follows behind him.
In these same woods are two very different groups of characters. The first is a band of fairies, including Oberon, the fairy king, and Titania, his queen, who has recently returned from India to bless the marriage of Theseus and Hippolyta. The second is a band of Athenian craftsmen rehearsing a play that they hope to perform for the duke and his bride. Oberon and Titania are at odds over a young Indian prince given to Titania by the prince’s mother; the boy is so beautiful that Oberon wishes to make him a knight, but Titania refuses. Seeking revenge, Oberon sends his merry servant, Puck, to acquire a magical flower, the juice of which can be spread over a sleeping person’s eyelids to make that person fall in love with the first thing he or she sees upon waking. Puck obtains the flower, and Oberon tells him of his plan to spread its juice on the sleeping Titania’s eyelids. Having seen Demetrius act cruelly toward Helena, he orders Puck to spread some of the juice on the eyelids of the young Athenian man. Puck encounters Lysander and Hermia; thinking that Lysander is the Athenian of whom Oberon spoke, Puck afflicts him with the love potion. Lysander happens to see Helena upon awaking and falls deeply in love with her, abandoning Hermia. As the night progresses and Puck attempts to undo his mistake, both Lysander and Demetrius end up in love with Helena, who believes that they are mocking her. Hermia becomes so jealous that she tries to challenge Helena to a fight. Demetrius and Lysander nearly do fight over Helena’s love, but Puck confuses them by mimicking their voices, leading them apart until they are lost separately in the forest.
When Titania wakes, the first creature she sees is Bottom, the most ridiculous of the Athenian craftsmen, whose head Puck has mockingly transformed into that of an ass. Titania passes a ludicrous interlude doting on the ass-headed weaver. Eventually, Oberon obtains the Indian boy, Puck spreads the love potion on Lysander’s eyelids, and by morning all is well. Theseus and Hippolyta discover the sleeping lovers in the forest and take them back to Athens to be married—Demetrius now loves Helena, and Lysander now loves Hermia. After the group wedding, the lovers watch Bottom and his fellow craftsmen perform their play, a fumbling, hilarious version of the story of Pyramus and Thisbe. When the play is completed, the lovers go to bed; the fairies briefly emerge to bless the sleeping couples with a protective charm and then disappear. Only Puck remains, to ask the audience for its forgiveness and approval and to urge it to remember the play as though it had all been a dream.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Written in Ireland

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Audio-video resources for Revision

Listenings from the BBC
(RealAudio + Flash required)

Tell a story about a special object

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Transformations´galore!

1.John finds photography interesting
John is..............................................
2.Helen has a good knowledge of car engines
Helen knows a lot...................................
3.The food in France is famous
France is.......................
4.I find studying all night rather difficult
I´m not used.............................
5.Sue left the house.First she checked that she had her keys
Before....................
6.Alan was skiing in Switzerland.He met his old friend,Ken
While..........................
7.I haven´t been to an Indian restaurant for ages
It´s ages.................................
8.When she heard the results, Mary began to feel more confident
Since hearing the results,.............................
9.The last time I was here was in 2002
I haven´t.....................................
10.It´s a long time since our last conversation.
We.................................
11.Thanks,but I had something to eat earlier
Thanks,but I´ve.................................
12.This is my first game of chess.
I have.............................................
13.Is this car yours?
Do you.......................................
14.Our 25th wedding anniversary is at the end of next year.
By the end of next year we........................................
15.Where can I change some money?
Can you tell me........................................?
16.What time does the next boat leave?
Do you think you could tell me...................................................................?
17.how much does this pullover cost?
I´d like to know.............................................................................................?
18. I´ll call the police if you don´t leave me alone!
Unless...........................................................................................................?
19.Without Jack´s help, I wouldn´t have been able to move the table
If......................................................................................................................
20.I tried to persuade her.I didn´t succeed, however
Although......................................................................................................
21.It was raining, but I went swimming anyway
In spiteof..........................................................................
22. Sue felt ill,but insisted on going to work.
Despite.....................................................................................
23. In spite of his early lead, Hudson lost the race
Although........................................
24. I´m sure that helen feels really lonely
Helen................................................................
25.It would be a good idea if Harry took a holiday
Harry......................................................
26. I´m sure Brenda isn´t over 30
Brenda....................................................
27.What would you advise me to do?
What............I...............?
28.You needn´t come with me if you don´t want to.
You don´t................................
29.Let´s go for a pizza.
How........................................?
30.I think you should sell your car.
If I ................................
31.Could you open the window?
Do you............................................?
32.If you drive faster, is more dangerous.
The..........................................................
33.Can´t you sing better than that?
Is that.................................................?

A literary map of Manhattan

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

End-of-term exams

At the instituto:
-Oral+written exam: Wednesday,22th june at 16.oo
At the EOI: Don´t forget your ID!
-Written exam, Monday, 27th June at 16.30
-Oral exam , Wednesday, 29th June at 9.30

September
-Written exam, 9th September at 9.30
-Oral , 13th September at 9.30

Lots of luck!